Day 10, and just when I thought things were finally calming down… boom. There it is. A new lump right where the hernia used to be. My heart dropped faster than a juice cup in the hands of a two-year-old.
The Panic Call
I rang the specialist, half expecting him to say I’d booked myself in for Hernia 2.0: The Sequel. Thankfully, he reckons it’s “probably just a seroma” — a nice medical word for a fluid pocket that shows up while things heal. A healing ridge. Basically, swelling in a bad mood. He told me to keep an eye on it, and if it’s still hanging around next week, to come in.
The Family Reaction
Of course, the kids have no filter. As soon as I showed them, they were pointing and asking questions like little surgeons-in-training:
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“Dad, why is it still bumpy?”
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“Can I touch it?”
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“Does it make you a daddy robot now?”
One of them even suggested putting a Band-Aid with Bluey on it — because apparently cartoon dogs cure everything.
Healing Isn’t Straightforward
It’s funny — the lump feels scarier to me than it actually is. The specialist made it sound like normal healing, but to my kids it’s just another cool thing dad has. To them, my scar is proof I’m brave. To me, it’s proof that recovery is never a straight line. One minute I’m feeling good, cutting back on the pain meds, thinking I’ve turned a corner — the next, I’m standing in the mirror imagining Darth Vader’s theme song.
Finding the Silver Lining
So for now, I’ll wait it out. Keep moving carefully. Keep answering 1,000 questions from my little doctors. And maybe laugh at the fact that to my kids, I’m not a patient in recovery — I’m the dad who survived “the big bump” and now has a brand-new one to show off.
Here’s hoping this really is just the Return of the Jedi, and not the beginning of a whole new trilogy.
The Hernia Diaries: Sit-ups were a mistake.
About the Author:
Rob Allen is a graphic designer, dad of three under six, and unwilling hernia expert. When he’s not juggling deadlines or nappies, he’s writing The Hernia Diaries from the couch — one ice pack and stool softener at a time.
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