I’m Rob — dad of three under six, graphic designer, and now unwilling hernia expert. After twelve months of waiting, surgery, and recovery, I realised the whole ordeal was equal parts painful and hilarious. So I started writing it down. These are the true stories of juggling nappies, deadlines, pain meds, and the occasional public-shower hernia reset. It’s messy, it’s honest, and it hurts to laugh… but that’s kind of the point.
Most recent entries are at the top, enjoy đ
Almost six weeks post-op, and recently I found myself back on the cold ultrasound table. The verdict? âIt may or may not be a seroma. Or maybe a hematoma. Or possibly just⌠a marble in the space where the hernia used to be.â
Day 21, and recovery has taken an unexpected twist: I donât know where to sleep these days. My two-year-old and four-year-old girls are in with Mum, leaving me one option â bunking with my six-year-old son.
Day 10, and just when I thought things were finally calming down⌠boom. There it is. A new lump right where the hernia used to be. My heart dropped faster than a juice cup in the hands of a two-year-old.
Day 7. The good news? I feel like Iâve finally turned a corner.
Day 5 Post Op: Living Life in the Slow Lane
There it sits. One lonely Endone, rattling around in the bottom of the pill bottle like the last Malteser in the box.Â
You know youâre officially old when your morning routine isnât about coffee anymore â itâs about whether or not you can take a decent number 2.
Day whatever of recovery, and the hernia rules are clear: no lifting more than 5kg. â¨Simple, right? Until you realise Woolies groceries donât get delivered to your pantry, only to your front doorâŚ
Youâd think a dad gets injured doing something awesome â like saving a kid from a runaway scooter, wrestling a crocodile, or surfing beyond his limits.â¨
There are certain phrases you never want to hear a doctor say.âHmm, thatâs unusual.ââAre you sitting down?âAnd in my case:âActually⌠youâve got two hernias.â
